Understanding Me

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Understanding my outer-self will be easy for you to comprehend 'cause we are all humans. But for you to understand my inner-self will be complicated. In order to understand my inner-man (intimately) you will have to experience and feel what it is like living in a prison cell. You will have to experience being confined to loneliness, despair, sorrow, hate, angry, misery, oppression, depression, pain, and discomfort.

To understand my inner man, you will have to become incarcerated, placed in Solitary Confinement, serving a life sentence, with no hope of ever going home. In order to comprehend why I walk the way I walk, why I talk the way I talk, why I act the way I act and think the way I think, is to understand my imprisoned conditions. To understand my inner stress, my inner depression, my inner loneliness, my inner desire to strive for wisdom and knowledge; and to fight for my freedom. To understand me is to understand the tears of pain I shed when my life was snatched from me. To understand me is to experience the foulness I eat every day, to experience the foulness I see every day, to experience the foulness I hear every day, and to experience the foul individuals I come across everyday. To experience the struggle of fighting desperately hard not to become the foulness this prison was built upon.

To understand my inner man is to understand a lost and broken heart trying to mend itself back together.

To understand my inner man is to understand the meaning of my emotional tears, emotional pain, and emotional emotions.

To understand me is to understand my struggles in becoming a “Real Man,” with integrity, purpose, goals, morals, ethics, ambitions, self-determination, empowerment, passion, compassionate, knowledge, wisdom, and intelligence; in a place (prison) that is known to only breed mentally and emotionally broken people. Whose only motive in life is negativity (violence) and never positivity (righteousness).

Try standing strong mentally, emotionally and spiritually against all the negative demons I battle with each day. Try fighting a battle that has only brought you frustration, anger, and stress.

To understand my inner man is to understand what it is like to fight a physiological war, emotional war, mental war, and physical war for the rest of your life. Understand this, I’m far from a bad, evil person, for I possess a golden, pure heart. So is it because I have to fight demonic negative evil spirits of men that makes me a bad person? Or is it because I have to commit certain un-righteous deeds and acts in order to continue prevailing in this war, that makes me a bad man? In order for you to understand what I just wrote you will have to experience being incarcerated in prison. You will have to understand yourself, then understand the limits, also risks you are willing to take in order to achieve and survive in life. To understand my inner man is to understand “struggle” and “life.” To understand me is to understand a slave whose been taken from his homeland and held captive (forcedly) with a loss of willpower. To understand my inner man is to understand true freedom and to understand captivity.

To understand my inner man is to understand that no matter how bad your living conditions may be and the circumstances of your life, life is never over. With self- determination, self-empowerment, self-drive to want something better out of life, you will never be defeated by the elements of life. Understanding yourself and your life (truly understanding those two things), then you will understand me and my inner man.

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