A New Orleans ad writer, Heidi Ross, has created a calendar based on police reports in her home town, Bozeman, Mont. A few sample entries:
Jan. 1: A man believing himself to be God appeared in the lobby of the Lewis and Clark Motel at 7:40 p.m. and refused to leave. He was later identified as a 26-year-old man from Butte.
Feb. 9: Two men stole a picture of John Wayne from Santa Fe Reds of 1235 North Seventh Ave. during regular business hours. Witnesses tried to tell an employee of the theft as the men left the building, but the employee thought they said pitcher, not picture, and did nothing.
June 11: A house cat knocked over a can of static guard in a residence in the 800 block of North Grand Avenue, triggering a chain of events. The can landed on a heater vent, got too hot, exploded, knocked out two windows, started a chair on fire and put a hole in the ceiling.
Aug. 22: A man in a chicken suit and a man in a cow suit were reportedly wandering around a parking lot on South 11th Avenue at 12:45 a.m. The man in the cow suit was allegedly wearing an Afro wig.
Oct. 18: A man said someone on the 2700 block of West Mendenhall Street had built an 8-foot snow sculpture of a penis, which his children saw on the way home from school. The sculpture was taken down, and the men who built it were issued a warning.
Nov. 14: A woman on Rose Street said she was chased by a three-legged dog.
For more information about the calendar, visit www.mistersmartiepants.com.